


The Marauder's Love

by brat_leabhair



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders' Era, Multi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 08:54:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16615859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brat_leabhair/pseuds/brat_leabhair
Summary: Remus grows into a new person at hogwarts, finding friends, purpose, and love.•WIP Wolfstar fic.





	The Marauder's Love

Remus Lupin was scared. Not just scared, he was terrified, trembling where he stood, just short of crying in the middle of the swarm of people his age, people like him; except they weren't like him, that's what scared him. He clutched his bag close to his side as the Hogwarts express rolled up triumphantly to the station; his mum put a comforting hand on his shoulder, though he was far from comfortable. His dad helped him to hoist his larger suitcase onto the train, and he left his son with a good luck and a goodbye. Remus trailed along the cabin until he found an empty carriage. He sat, slumped against the window, offering his parents a weak wave as the train began to depart. He got distracted as he stared out the window, too distracted to be shaking from nerves, too distracted to notice the boy and girl who had entered the cabin and were sitting behind him. He felt a hand tap his shoulder lightly, and jumped a little from the surprise. The girl sitting next to him had red hair, and green eyes that make him feel a little less anxious. She held a package towards him.  
"Do you want a bean?" She asked, almost playfully, "Sev's too scared to try them."  
"No I'm not," scowled the dark-haired boy opposite them, who Remus had barely noticed. The boy seemed somewhat hostile, and the look he was giving Remus didnt settle him at all.  
"Then why don't you take one?" asked the girl, in a false innocense that masked mischief.  
The boy exhaled loudly through his nose, and reached into the packet. The bean he took out was a suspiciously dark colour, and he wrinkled his nose at it before tentatively putting it in his mouth. As soon as he chewed, his face screwed up in disgust, earning a laugh from the girl. The boy spat it on the floor.  
"That tasted like shit," he whined. The girl gasped.  
"Severus! You cant say things like that!" she cried, though she was giggling.  
She turned back to Remus.  
"Im Lily, what's your name?"  
Remus realised he hadnt spoken a word yet. He blinked.  
"Oh, I'm Remus."  
"This is Severus," she said politely, gesturing to the moody boy. He gave a slight, uninterested wave in Remus' direction.  
"Do you want to try one?" She said again, holding the box to him.  
"Okay?" He replied, although it sounded more like a question. He gently took a bean from the packet, and took a close look at it. When he bit into it, it tasted like strawberries and cream, and he enjoyed it so much that Lily looked disappointed.  
"It's funnier when they taste like something manky," said Lily with a sigh. She straightened her back. "Does that make me a bad person?"  
"No," interjected Severus, a little too quickly. His face reddened a little. Lily laughed weakly, and brushed her hair behind her head.  
"Thanks," she said, though Remus didn't think she sounded thankful.  
The train ride carried on with similar idle conversation, though for the most part Remus just continued to look out the window. He had too much on his mind, as he always did.   
When the train came to a halt at the station, they were met by the gamekeeper, Ogg, an elderly man with short grey hair and sloping posture, who was closely followed by his apprentice, Hagrid. There were rumours about Hagrid, as to why he was expelled from the pupil body, and why Dumbledore let him stay at the school, but Remus hadn't heard any of them yet; they were largely untrue, anyway. They were sailed across the lake in the rowboats, and escorted by the caretaker, Mr. Filch, to the great hall.  
Remus gasped a little when he entered the hall. It was huge, bigger than any place he'd ever been, and the ceiling was dotted with floating candles that illuminated the room in a warm, orange hue. It was the most comforting thing he'd seen all day. The sorting ceremony was nerve-wracking, but Remus was happy when the hat called Gryffindor. He saw that Lily, the girl from the train, was also placed in Gryffindor; she sat beside him at the huge table. Her friend, Severus, was placed in Slytherin, and Lily seemed a little taken aback by this. They saw the way he stared at her as he went to join his housemates; it unsettled Remus, and evoked pity from Lily. When the food appeared from thin air in front of them from the table, Remus took some roast chicken. A boy to their right cocked his eyebrow.  
"You need more that that," he remarked, "you cant get offered unlimited food and just take a drumstick. You're skinny as hell!"  
Lily interjected, "Mind your business, he's eating."  
The boy stared at her for a few seconds, either taken aback by her agression or her looks. He blinked.  
"What's your name?"  
She gave him a glare, but answered, "Lily Evans."  
"Nice to meet you," he said, smirking now, "I'm James Potter."  
"Good for you," she quipped sarcastically, before returning to her meal. Meanwhile, Remus ate quietly, picking at his food. He was too nervous to eat right now. He'd only just met these people and now he'd have to live with them- in close quarters, too. The sinking feeling in his gut grew. 

•

The first week at Hogwarts hadn't been as bad as he'd anticipated. He'd made a friend, Lily, and was also friendly with Alice Prewett, another student in their house. He wasn't so fond of Severus, who seemed to kind of latch onto Lily, but he wasn't overly bothered. He'd embarrassed himself a few times by dropping things in front of people and whatnot, and stayed up a little too late overthinking it, but it wasn't the end of the world.  
He was sitting in the library with Lily and Alice when Professor McGonagall, who taught transfiguration, approached them.  
"May I borrow you for a minute, Lupin?"  
Remus nodded and followed her to the potions classroom, where Professor Slughorn was waiting. He welcomed him warmly.  
"Remus, my boy, take a seat. We need to talk about your condition."  
Remus' stomach dropped. He had been waiting for this.  
"Here, we have a batch of Somnum Potions. Do you know what these do?"  
Remus shifted uncomfortably.  
"They send you to sleep, sir?"  
"Indeed! They are a powerful tranquiliser. However, that's not what we need them for. Wee need you to take these whenever you are about to transform. It will not stop for transformation, nor will it put the wolf to sleep, but it will make you less active and less destructive during a full moon. Do you understand."  
Remus felt like crying, but he nodded. McGonagall placed a hand on his shoulder.  
"We'll have Filch take the potions up to your classroom. Come now, I'll show you where you need to go when it's a full moon."  
They walked through the corridors, down the hill, to the whomping willow on the grounds. McGonagall raised her wand, and chanted, "Immobilus!"   
The lively tree's branches stopped thrashing. She crouched low, and entered a hole at the base of the trunk, beckoning him through.  
"This leads to an abandoned shack nearby," explained McGonagall, as she held his hand walking through the tunnel, "It's secure, and never used, so you will come her during your episodes."  
Remus hated the way she said episodes. It sounded like he was talking about some sort of attack, like he had anger issues or epilepsy. He didn't have anything like that, he was a werewolf, and he hated that they all skirted around the word like it would beckon the wolf forward. He hated that he had to come through a secret tunnel to a miserable shack in the middle of nowhere. They reached the shack, and it was perhaps the coldest welcome he had ever received, partially because it was bitterly cold inside. McGonagall handed him a key.   
"Take some spare clothes with you, and lock the entrance before you transform. Then, drink your potion."  
That was it. That was all he could do while he was trapped in there. McGonagall sighed, and put her hand on his shoulder once more.  
"I know, it's not ideal, and it's not much to enjoy. But it is necessary. Come, let's get you back to Miss Evans."  
By the time they reached Hogwarts again, Remus felt quietly humiliated. He sat by the fire in the common room to heat up. Lily asked where he went; he said itwasn't important. He went to bed that night feeling more isolated than he had felt so far in the castle.

• 

His first full moon at Hogwarts was grim. Firstly, it took a while, so he had to sit in the shack, jittering from the icy wind, naked so that his clothes wouldn't rip. It was the most embarrassing thing he'd ever willingly done. Secondly, the potion didn't seem to hinder his moonlit energy much; he nearly demolished the place. Thirdly, his clothes were ripped to shreds anyway, so when Filch came to collect him the next morning, he was still naked, and had to wait for the caretaker to fetch him some clothes before being whisked to the infirmary and placed by Madam Pomfrey in the nearest available bed. In the bed next to Remus' a boy in his year was sleeping like a log. Remus looked at him, at his dark, shiny hair that stopped just short of his shoulders, at his long eyelashes, at his unblemished skin. The sunlight bounced off him in the most flattering way possible, so that he seemed to glow from where he lay. Remus barely realised he was staring until the doors clattered open, and two other housemates of Remus entered, strutting up to the bed beside Remus, who looked away in an awkward, obvious way that made him feel idiotic. His face heated up as he realised how he saw the boy, his perfect face and features, and a brief epiphany hit him like a brick. The other boys woke their friend up, and he showed off his bruised arm, which had Miraculously healed from a broken bone overnight. 

•

After Remus had his epiphany, he decided to be more careful. He was already a werewolf, for god's sake- even if people didn't know that, being gay would leave him friendless, probably. Not to mention his parents- his mum was a Muggle, a Christian one, with beliefs and opinions. He didn't know how she would react. The moment he came to the conclusion that this could be bad, potentially awful for him, he decided to forget about it.  
Which proved harder than he thought. When he thought of girls, he struggled to think of anything other than his friendship with Lily and Alice, and when he thought of boys, he struggles to take his mind off the boy in the infirmary, and the way his dark hair framed his face. At night, he found himself staring at the ceiling, trying to think of something else, anything else, until he fell asleep and dreamt of exactly what he was trying to avoid.  
A couple of months into the school year, and Remus got better at repressing his feelings, at cutting off his glances that lasted too long, and Christmas was coming up. However, the next full moon drew nearer, and Remus' stash of Somnum potions had depleted much quicker than he had expected. The day before the full moon, he looked in the drawer where he kept them and saw that it had gone entirely. He swore, still crouched over the drawer.  
"Are you alright?" asked Frank Longbottom, who slept in a nearby bunk. Remus practically jumped out of his skin, having not realised that Frank was there.  
"What- yeah, I, um..." scrambled Remus, shutting his drawer with conspicuous speed and mentally cursing himself for his inadequacy of casual behaviour, "... it's nothing."  
Frank hardly looked convinced, but he turned the other cheek and went about his mundane business anyway. Remus sighed a breath of relief.  
He made his was down to Professor Slughorn's room, anxious now, because the sun was going to set fairly soon. When he arrived, two other boys were in the classroom, recieving detentions; Remus recognised one as James Potter, and the other as the boy from the infirmary, who he now knew was called Sirius Black. Slughorn was not, however, present, so Remus knocked the door timidly. The boys looked up.  
"Uh, I'm sorry, is Professor Slughorn here?" asked Remus, cringing at how high pitched his voice sounded.  
"He's in the office," answered James, who was eyeing Remus curiously as he walked impatiently through the classroom to the small, cupboard-like office at the back of the classroom. Slughorn was reading, and looked surprised when Remus entered.  
"Sir?"  
"Oh- yes, Lupin, how may I help you?"  
"I-I'm out of the potion you gave me."  
Slughorn sat up straighter, cocking an eyebrow, "Are you really? Those were meant to last until Christmas, have you been taking more?"   
Remus shook his head and shrugged.  
"Well then, I'm sure we have some in back, if those two haven't stolen them."  
Remus tilted his head a little, confused.  
"What?"  
"Oh yes, I found those two looting my potions cabinet. So as detention, they're organising the ingredients for me. Those things haven't been organised in any way for a good many years now, I'd wager."  
"We can hear you in there, y'know," called Sirius.  
"Carry on!" replied Slughorn  
Remus looked away, cogs turning in his constantly calculating mind. Slughorn returned with more potions.  
"That should do nicely. Is it tonight?" Remus nodded nervously. "Well, you'd best get along then. I'll see you on Monday."  
As Remus left the room, he cast the boys a suspicious eye when they weren't looking, and looked away with a reddened face when they were.

•

The Christmas break was good for Remus. He stayed with his family, his mother and father, and they did the things a regular family does at Christmas, as though the father wasn't a wizard and the son wasn't a werewolf. It allowed Remus a detox period from the isolation he often felt at Hogwarts, some space to breathe, for a little while. After he returned, Lily greeted him with enthusiasm.  
"Remus! Oh my god, it was so boring without you!" cried Lily. She had decided to stay at  Hogwarts during the Christmas break, and didn't have much company while she was there.   
"Nice to see you too," laughed Remus as she hugged him briefly. She took a step back.  
"Have you seen Alice?"  
"No, didn't she go home for Christmas too?"  
"Yeah, I thought you might've seen her on the train."  
Remus shook his head, shrugging a little to display his obliviousness. Lily scanned the hall; she still couldn't see her yet.  
"Anyway, we need to study now," sighed Lily. Tests towards the end of the school year were mandatory for all students, however they were less pivotal to the first year's development, so the pressure was still relatively low. Regardless, Remus was worried. He hadn't made any attempts to study over the Christmas break, despite his dad's playful warnings, and now he wasn't as prepared as he felt he needed to be.  
The weeks leading up to the school's exam season were hectic. Teachers were giving out mammoth end of year assignments, the library was constantly packed with students cramming knowledge before their exams started, and Remus was stressed out of his mind. He had been so wrapped up in his essay about the making and effects of Polyjuice Potion that he'd left his essay on Grindelwald till the night before it was due to be completed. A full moon had disrupted his schedule and cost him valuable time to do homework with, so he was struggling. He sighed as he sat crouched over his desk, his hand aching from writing so much. He had smudged the ink, which would cost him points for neatness, but he didn't care as long as he could finish it. A door slammed at the other end of the room, rousing Remus from his concentrated state. He turned, and saw that James Potter had entered the room. Lily, who was sitting across from Remus, glared at him briefly before getting back to work. Based on James' clear hatred of Severus, Lily's friend, Lily decided that James Potter was a twat. Nevertheless, James made his way across the room to her desk, and placed his hand on her desk.  
"Can we talk?" he asked her, in a low voice so that he wouldn't be overheard. His face was beet red, and Lily gave him a mildly contemptuous glance.  
"Okay," she said, but made to effort to move. He sighed, looking around the room. Remus pretended that he was still writing his paper.  
"I really like you, and I think we get along, so-"  
"I'm not interested, Potter," said Lily, rather loudly, cutting him off, "in someone who constantly mucks about and bullies my friend."  
James exhaled loudly through his nose, "Come on, Lily, Snape's a twat. I don't know why you stick up for him."  
Lily turned to face him. "Because he's been there for me for years, and I trust him. You, on the other hand, are about as sketchy as it gets."  
She went back to her work as if nothing happened. James sighed again, looking around the room self-consciously, and left quickly. Remus caught Lily's eye from across the table. She huffed, leaning forward.  
"He's an arsehole." She stated, crossing her arms. Remus laughed lightly. He wondered, if Severus wasn't a factor, what she would think of him. Whether or not she would maintain her opinion. He doubted it.

•

Exam season passed slowly, like a broken machine with jamming wheels. By the time it was over, Remus was exhausted, but glad. However, there was one problem: his Somnum potion stash was still depleting, and he couldn't understand why until a the year was nearing it's end.  
He was on his way to the boy's toilets down the torchlit corridors. When he got there, the majority of the stalls were full, so he walked down, looking for an empty stall to use. When he pushed open the first unlocked door. He stumbled back when he saw what was inside. Severus Snape was lying on the floor, unconscious. Remus' first instinct was to call for help, until he looked at the floor beside Severus. There was a tiny bottle, smashed, but still recognisable as the bottles that held Remus' Somnum potion. Remus picked up the pieces, and realised that it was one from his stash. Instantly, he made his way to McGonagall's office, knocking on the door impatiently.  
"Yes, yes come in!" called McGonagall, rather irritated by his impatience. When he entered, and he saw his look of distress, her expression softened.  
"Can I help you, Mr. Lupin?"  
"Sorry, Professor. I think someone's been stealing my potions, Professor."  
The intimidating woman stood quickly.   
"Are you sure?" she asked. Remus nodded.  
"I found Severus Snap in the toilet. There was one of the bottles next to him."  
"Was he unconscious?"   
"Yes, Professor."  
Normally, Remus might object to telling on another student, because he didn't want to seem like he was that way, as he wasn't. However, this was important to him, to his health. The full moon was less than a week away, he couldn't deal with this now.  
"Go fetch Madam Pomfrey, and tell her to someone to help carry him," ordered McGonagall. Remus made his way hastily to the infirmary, where Alice was helping the nurse.  
"Madam Pomfrey, someone's sleeping in the toilet."  
The woman shot him an irritable look. "Well, wake them up."  
"They're unconscious, I meant. We need someone to carry him up here."  
The nurse sighed. "Very well. Miss Prewett, would you accompany Mr. Lupin with the stretcher?"  
"Yes, Ma'am." said Alice obediently. As the two made their way back to the toilet, they chatted a little.  
"What were do doing in the infirmary?" enquired Remus curiously.  
"I've been helping out up there. I think I'd like to be a doctor some day, so Madam Pomfrey lets me help out with the injuries and whatnot."  
Remus nodded, impressed that she already had some degree of plan for her life.  
"How have you and Lily been doing, we havent spoken in a while."  
"I'm fine. Lily's pretty confident about her test results, she already got an O in potions."  
"Of course she did, Slughorn adores her."  
Remus laughed. They reached the toilet, and Alice hesitated.  
"What's wrong?"  
"It's just... this is the boy's toilet..." said Alice, blushing a little. Remus mentally slapped himself for being so stupid.   
"I'm sure it's fine if we're just going in for a second to grab him."  
Alice nodded reluctantly. They headed in, passing a taken aback sixth year who glanced at Alice uncomfortably. She kept her head down. They carefully moved Severus to the stretcher, and each took one end to carry him all to the infirmary.  
"You know, for such a pivotal room, you'd think they'd put it somewhere a little more central a tower," said Alice through gritted teeth.  
By the time they reached the infirmary, Slughorn and McGonagall were waiting alongside Madam Pomfrey. The first years laid the sleeping Slytherin on the bed. Lily was standing next to the bed with crossed arms. Slughorn took a small vial of black liquid out of his coat pocket.  
"What's that?" asked Lily, a little distressed.  
"This is the root of a mandrake, boiled in water. It will take care of the side affects of improper uses of Somnum potion. Also, coffee, to wake him up. After he's awake we can ask who he got the potion from-"  
"I know exactly who he got it from," interjected Lily adamantly, "James' Potter has been using it for pranks since Christmas."  
Since before Christmas, thought Remus. His potion supply had been depleting almost since the beginning of the year, and now he realised why.  
"All in good time, Miss Evans." Slughorn tipped the vial into Severus' mouth, and stood back as though he'd just lit a firework. Suddenly, Severus jolted upwards, and gasped like someone who'd just been saved from drowning. Remus jumped in surprise. Severus looked about frantically, but calmed when his eyes met Lily's.  
"Where am I?"  
"You're in the infirmary," provided Madam Pomfrey in a monotone voice, as if bored by his stupid question.  
"You were given a sleeping potion, Mr Snape," said McGonagall, her eyes practically skewering him in their sharpness, "where did you acquire this?"  
"A sleeping potion? I... I thought it was felix felicis?" said Snape, genuinely confused. Slughorn and McGonagall exchanged a look. He stopped fiddling with his bedsheets when he realised he shouldn't have said that.  
"Who gave you the potion?" prodded McGonagall.  
"It was... It was a third year, I think..."  
"It was James Potter," insisted Lily, "I saw him with a potions book a while ago and knew he was up to something, because it wasn't the book we were using in class. It was more advanced, too advanced for him."  
"If you don't mind me saying, Lily, Somnum is a particularly difficult potion to brew, and neither James nor and of his friends could have brewed it as perfectly as this," said Slughorn, gesturing to Snape, "and besides, I know exactly where they got it from. It was stolen."  
"It sounded like James," recalled Severus.  
Lily stood straighter. "What?"  
"The third year. He... It sounded like James." Severus' voice was croaky.  
Lily's eyes widened. "Polyjuice potion! They must have brewed Polyjuice potion to trick Sev!"  
"I suppose a first year with the right determination could brew a Polyjuice potion by following the appropriate instructions..." said Slughorn thoughtfully.  
McGonagall shook her head. "I doubt it, Horace. James isn't a bad enough pupil to plan such a deliberate attack, he simply struggles to follow rules."  
"And steals from my pantry," reminded Slughorn. McGonagall pursed her lips. She didn't like to see members of her house spoken ill of.  
"Ill speak to them in my office. Lupin, would you come with me, please"  
Lupin looked up in brief surprise. He followed the professor to her office, where Slughorn followed them in turn.  
"Professor Slughorn tells me your Somnum supply has been disappearing for a while now, yes?"  
"Yes, professor," confirmed Remus nervously.  
"I believe we know why, then. I'll go collect Potter, Black and Pettigrew. They seem to be the likely suspects in this case."  
Remus waiting in awkward silence with Slughorn for a couple of minutes until McGonagall's return. When she did return, she had the three Gryffindors at her tail, and she did not look pleased.   
"Mr. Lupin here tells me that his Somnum potions, which are provided by the school, through school funding, have been going missing. Would either of you care to tell me why?" her tone was severe, and Remus was more that glad that he wasn't at the recieving end of her judgement. The boys all looked at the floor in evident shame.  
"Potter?" prodded McGonagall. James looked up.  
"We took them, professor."  
"Im sorry, Professor," piped Peter Pettigrew.  
"You don't owe me and apology," said McGonagall, stepping aside and gesturing to Remus. His face went red, because this was the most embarrassing thing he'd ever witnessed and had to play a part in.  
"Sorry, Lupin," said the boys in unison, as if they'd practiced for months. McGonagall cast an eye on them, and stood still for a moment, before returning to her desk.  
"You three will be serving detention every weekday from 6 until 7 for a week for your continued thievery, betrayal of your housemates trust, and dishonesty. We do not tolerate this behaviour under any circumstances. Do you understand?"  
The boys nodded in unison.   
"Now go, all of you." The first years began to filter their way out of the room, and make their way up to the Gryffindor common room. Remus walked ahead of them, speedwalking to create a distance between them; he didn't think he could look any of them in the eye after that abysmal experience. However, as he walked, he heard the approaching sound of a running holligan, and turned to see Sirius Black catching up to him. They both stopped, Sirius panting lightly.  
"Hey," he said, "I just wanted to say sorry. Pretty stupid of me not to realise it was a medical thing. And also i wanted you to know that is wasn't just for pranks and shit, y'know? I stay up way too late, I was using them during exam season, and I shouldn't have taken any at all but I did, so, sorry..." he trailed off, having rambled for a while. Remus shifted uncomfortably, not sure what to say.  
"Don't worry about it," was his decided response, "sorry you had to get detention."  
Sirius smirked. "Oh, don't mention it, we've been dying for and excuse to get into Filch's confiscated cabinet anyway."   
They walked in silence for a few moments, whilst Remus accumulated the courage to speak.  
"How did you find the potions, anyway."  
Sirius gave him a lopsided smile. "Ah, well. I'm friendly with Frank Longbottom, we were talking one day and he just... mentioned it, I suppose."  
This provoked a confused expression from Remus.  
"And how did the conversation turn to my drawers."  
Sirius laughed, and placed a finger on his lips.   
"Marauder's secret, Remus." With that, the raven haired boy walked- well, practically skipped- back to his friends a few metres behind. Remus watched him, then made his way through the portrait entrance to the common room left to wonder what a Marauder was.

•

Remus did well in all of his assignments and tests, without dropping his grades below an E. Lily did similarly, of course, if a little better, and Alice's results were slightly dull compared to theirs, but she claimed that first year results didn't really matter in the long run. Remus packed his suitcase with everything he owned, and ate at the end of year feast. Ravenclaw won the house cup by a hair, with Gryffindor close behind. Lily grumbled that they would have won if James hadn't lost points trying to bully the ever victimised Severus. Remus had spoken to James, Sirius and Peter more often than before, even sitting by them with Lily and Alice at the feast. By the time the pupils were all packed and ready to go home, Remus was ready to leave- he was more comfortable at hogwarts than he ever had been before, but now he needed a break from the commotion and the schoolwork.


End file.
